the song

my song

<3

understand

i found myself become more understanding

in what sense?

things that i do not manage to understand these past few years

suddenly 

i have different light towards them 

and 

i just

understand

but 

then comes the regret which i can do better if i'm being understanding

hihi

this is the power of age i guess XDD

subjects

alhamdullilah 

till this date...we managed to get around 80 subjects

around 40 more to comes

TT_TT

i'm happy and stress out with my thesis

but its okay 

as long as i'm happy doing it

ILANI FIGHTING!!!

i wish 😊

pictures never explain everything...no one  knows what my real wishes behind this picture XD unless you guys love me so dearly mihmihmih

light

i wish for the light..and they come even quite late #fyp

bad day

how bad is it?

my tears always there 

TT_TT

I wonder

now i wonder

is it with only as a degree holder i will be consider as successful?

damn it people expectation. 

now i wonder

should i go and dance in the middle of the road?

damn it judgemental people.

now i wonder

will i be seen as rebellious and nonsense when i go opposite the public thought?

damn it society.

now i wonder

will my friends love me more if i always say yes and agreeing with them?

damn it ilani if you have these kind of friends.

now i wonder.

did you guys read my blog?

if yes..,then stop it XDD

IT'S EMBARRASSING.

Win a Family Trip to Korea!

Win a Family Trip to Korea!
 i want thisssss

forgiveness

i always used the words "mad"

whenever i try to explain how i feel towards you

its not mad..i am sad

but it is easier to say that i am mad 

rather than to explain why i am sad 

i am sorry

truly sorry beyond words??

yes...beyond words...

motivation

hurmmm hurmmmm

simply put...

i lost my motivation for the final year project

not something that have my interest

its almost like 

kawin paksa macam dalam drama2 petang kat tv3 tu

stay in the marriage but having hard time to accept him 

so the marriage is kind of sucks

my analogy for my final year project TT_TT

 ILANI FIGHTING!

 p/s : i hate it at this moment..and i have no idea on how i feel in few weeks..hopes everything went well soobsss

these day i have so many doubts over the things in my life

these make me consider to write.

i talk to myself a lot

most of the time to logic, sort, rational and even console myself

the things that i should do?

the things that i need to do?

the things that i want to do?

it seems simple yet i haven't found the meaning behind these words.

should...need..want

sign of depression for me

1. i just start not to care anything

2. i sleep a lot

3. i am not concern to do things

4. i have no idea what i feel most of the time

5. i will laugh yet feel like crying at the same time.

i need to see a doctor or not?

i miss them~

i have been thinking

when the last time my heartbeat so fast out of excitement of joy or danger?

i can't remember

does this mean i did not live my life properly?

or 

simply i am living a very calm life

i miss my incredible fast heartbeat

maybe i should just ride a roller coaster

do you remember yours?

his love turn into a past tense for me

i used to have a crush

but 

it turns out that my crush is more than just a mere crush

i am in love

we were in love

but

poor me

his love already turns into 

he was in love 

but me still

is in love~

her dream

there is a girl that dreamed big

people around her support and cheers for her

but sadly

when it comes to her own family

they do not approve her dream

in the end

she end up brokenhearted.

TT__TT

how should i react on this??LOL

perbualan aku dgn nik hari tu

 nik: ramainye org cantik..geram dgn diorg

 ilani: tapi nik..ada org cantik..tp kita boring je nak tengok dia lama2 and ada org tak cantik or biasa2 tapi seronok nak tengok diorg

 nik: mcm kau kan lani...tak cantik tapi seronok nak tengok pastu aku cantik tapi tak seronok nak tengok

 ilani: =..= apa aku patut rasa dgn komen kau nik??

we both LOL -ING

 kekekeke

my friends are having hard time

the best thing i can do is comfort her

easy said than done 

she keep everything inside

even the sight of her laughing make me wonder.

my bad side

lack of the ability to say comforting words

adila said i need to learn and change

=..=

she decide to keep everything so shaddy

we wait patiently for you to share

idk but it hurts

the feeling of "i can't do anything for you"

 

BODY ISSUES

what kind of girl are you?

mehhhh i have no idea~

tell me one thing that you good at?

hurmm..hurm this is hard~

which one of your body part is your favorite?

i have no idea~

but will you tell me what part of your body that you hate the most?

my answer..or maybe yours...

can i list them in a piece a paper for you to read?

^^

being a girl it always flaws that we see in a person but to be honest we can list out our own flaws the best.

this can be a downside for being a girl or it also can be a good point that you can get from a girl.

my leg is too fat

my hand already becoming flabby 

why my right's eyes is bigger that the other one?

eeeeeyyyy my fingers are fat *how can fingers be fat?LOL 

i got an acne...

i want that straight silky long hair...

do you think my nose is too big?

i wish my abs look just like SNSD's abs~ *my dreams obviously 

things that girls around me including me rant about...never ending~

i wish we can see the light at the end of the tunnel

be lovable...understanding...make the girls know that you love her even her flaws...

either between girls and girls 

or

boys and girls.