bad day

how bad is it?

my tears always there 

TT_TT

I wonder

now i wonder

is it with only as a degree holder i will be consider as successful?

damn it people expectation. 

now i wonder

should i go and dance in the middle of the road?

damn it judgemental people.

now i wonder

will i be seen as rebellious and nonsense when i go opposite the public thought?

damn it society.

now i wonder

will my friends love me more if i always say yes and agreeing with them?

damn it ilani if you have these kind of friends.

now i wonder.

did you guys read my blog?

if yes..,then stop it XDD

IT'S EMBARRASSING.

Win a Family Trip to Korea!

Win a Family Trip to Korea!
 i want thisssss

forgiveness

i always used the words "mad"

whenever i try to explain how i feel towards you

its not mad..i am sad

but it is easier to say that i am mad 

rather than to explain why i am sad 

i am sorry

truly sorry beyond words??

yes...beyond words...

motivation

hurmmm hurmmmm

simply put...

i lost my motivation for the final year project

not something that have my interest

its almost like 

kawin paksa macam dalam drama2 petang kat tv3 tu

stay in the marriage but having hard time to accept him 

so the marriage is kind of sucks

my analogy for my final year project TT_TT

 ILANI FIGHTING!

 p/s : i hate it at this moment..and i have no idea on how i feel in few weeks..hopes everything went well soobsss

these day i have so many doubts over the things in my life

these make me consider to write.

i talk to myself a lot

most of the time to logic, sort, rational and even console myself

the things that i should do?

the things that i need to do?

the things that i want to do?

it seems simple yet i haven't found the meaning behind these words.

should...need..want

sign of depression for me

1. i just start not to care anything

2. i sleep a lot

3. i am not concern to do things

4. i have no idea what i feel most of the time

5. i will laugh yet feel like crying at the same time.

i need to see a doctor or not?